She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
