why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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