Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think my moral compass just broke
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
