please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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