He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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