The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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