I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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