you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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