i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
