there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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