I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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