Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
