Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
