You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
