also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
