Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
either way he was missing a nipple.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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