I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
