I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
