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We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
