carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
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