Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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