I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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