i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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