oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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