38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
