girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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