I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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