When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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