Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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