if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
