I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
