If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Blood and glitter go together right?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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