Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
