she's into porn, im staying here tonight
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
