im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
