So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
