1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
