I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
