Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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