You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
