I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
