3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
