I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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