He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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