Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
