Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
