those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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