Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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