Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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