But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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