We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
