We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
