If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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